And That’s A Wrap –

2 01 2010

I want to thank all of you who have kept me company and/or humored me during my little 2009 sabbatical.

I especially want to thank sfist, Curbed SF, CBS Eye on Blogs , The Sunset District Events Calendar , deep trouble , The First Church of the Last Laugh and anyone else I might have forgotten that either linked to my stories or had nice things to say about this page.

I don’t think I want to shut this site down entirely, but my classes start next week so I am going to decommission this blog to hibernate status while I focus on my studies. I’m telling you, this is a horrible time to try and find a job and a great time to be a student again.

Good luck to you all in your future endeavors in 2010 and beyond.

And stay weird, San Francisco.

sunset

PS – I’m still a big geek for all things weird and unique to The Outer Sunset.

If you’ve discovered any kind of Outer Sunset art car, quirky house, cool mural, great scenic view, engaging architecture, public art space, or shrine please tell me about it in the comments section of this post and I shall do my best to document it. Thank you. I live for stuff like this.





The Friendship Bench of The Outer Sunset.

1 01 2010

The Friendship Bench of The Outer Sunset 2

The Friendship Bench of The Outer Sunset 9

The Friendship Bench of The Outer Sunset 7

The Friendship Bench of The Outer Sunset 3

The Friendship Bench is the very first thing I wrote about on here and one of the first truly unique and neat things I noticed when I moved into The Outer Sunset.

The Friendship Bench of The Outer Sunset 14

The idea that someone can convert their house into a little public art space is really charming and the fact that it’s survived unmolested all these years is amazing. I keep on discovering new things everytime I take pictures here.

The Friendship Bench of The Outer Sunset 12

Nice use of sand dollars. Sand dollars are local sea urchins that are indigenous to Ocean Beach. If you know how, you can collect them along the beach and then bleach them to a shiny white. You see them everywhere out here. Locals have them in their garages and gardens; you can see them in the mural over by the Ortega Street library. Collecting sand dollars is very much a Outer Sunset / beach culture kind of pastime.

The Friendship Bench of The Outer Sunset 6

I met the owner of this house the other day as he was pulling into his driveway. He was super nice and explained that The Friendship Bench was his wife’s idea. She set most of this up and since she passed away he has been maintaining it as a shrine to her.

And that’s what I love about The Outer Sunset; the idea that you can just convert your house into a mini shrine and no one will stop you.





Best of Golden Gate Park. 2009. FREE.

31 12 2009

I’ve said it before and I’ll say it again, I love Golden Gate Park

GGP is larger than Central Park, Narnia, and Middle-Earth combined. That’s a fact, you can look it up on wikipedia. I’ve spent over a decade exploring GGP and there are still parts of the park that are new to me and fun to get lost in.

So this is my homage to the year 2009 in the greatest, free, multi-billion dollar, urban backyard that mankind has ever created.

That and I somehow managed to make it through another year without getting bit by some homeless kids dog. Yeah!

hippy hill 1

DJ Garth (Wicked) VS SFPD. DJ Tribal Stompy-Stomp. Golden Gate Park. 2009. Sometimes in life you get what you paid for. FREE 2

Best of Golden Gate Park. 2009. 3

Best of Golden Gate Park. 2009. 2

dope threads son 2.o

Tour De Fat. Golden Gate Park. 2009. FREE 1

Bay to Breakers 2009 2

Best of Golden Gate Park. 2009. 4

Tour De Fat. Golden Gate Park. 2009. FREE 2

The Brass Tax free party in Golden Gate Park 2

Best of Golden Gate Park. 2009. 6

Hippy Hill on a sunny day. San Francisco’s Indian Summer in Golden Gate Park 2009 2

Hippy Hill on 420 18

Tour De Fat. Golden Gate Park. 2009. FREE 3

golden gate park 2009

Crusty punk pirates seize the Janis Joplin tree 1

Best of Golden Gate Park. 2009. 11

Best of Golden Gate Park. 2009. 69





The Hello Kitty Car Salutes This Day.

30 12 2009

Hello Kitty Mobile of The Outer Sunset

The Outer Sunset might as well be renamed New Chinatown. My neighborhood is primarily Asian, mostly Chinese, and some of my more creative neighbors have converted their cars into neat little pop culture shrines. If Tera Patrick ever moved into The Outer Sunset I’d imagine she’d have a Hello Kitty shrine like this in her car too.

I was fortunate enough this day to find the Hello Kitty car parked facing towards the beach as the sun set, so it’s a clear shot. I love also that they chose to have the dashboard idol facing towards the windshield instead of towards the driver. Makes for a great picture.

I wasn’t as lucky with this green themed car and it was foggy and overcast that day. Hey, welcome to The Outer Sunset.

New Chinatown 7

Notice how both these cars are very color coordinated. Even down to the green lid of the Lysol hand wipes next to the baby seat in the back. You know the color of a product is a deal breaker with this family when it comes to what they will buy and put in their car. They could be at Target and there could be some hand wipes with a pink lid that were half the price of the green lid hand wipes and if anyone dared to put the pink lid hand wipes in the cart the parents would be all “What the fuck is wrong with you? We’re down with green, you know that. You want to buy any of that pink shit than you might as well go ride with that Hello Kitty family and ask them to adopt you as well because you ain’t no child of mine. Now put that pink crap back where you found it before I have to decapitate you like all those stuffed animals that weren’t down with green”

New Chinatown 9





Priscilla – Queen of The Outer Sunset.

28 12 2009

Priscilla Queen of The Outer Sunset 1

If the gay mafia ever bough a house in The Outer Sunset I’d bet they’d move into this mini-fortress. And not just because of the pepto-bismol pink color of the house or the quaint white picket fence, but also because of the shear size of the house.

Corner houses are traditionally larger homes, but this is one of the most extreme examples of that rule that I’ve seen out here. It’s like a fortress of pinkness. Check out how she’s almost twice the size of her serf neighbors downhill.

Priscilla Queen of The Outer Sunset 2

Big Pink Gay House FTW.





But Uncle Owen, I was going into Tosche Station to pick up some power converters!

22 12 2009

But Uncle Owen, I was going into Tosche Station to pick up some power converters 1

If they ever built any suburbs on Tatooine I’d imagine they would look a lot like this.





The Outer Sunset – Manifest Destiny

12 12 2009

I just finished reading Jason Aaron’s Wolverine – Manifest Destiny mini series as part of the X-Men – Manifest Destiny collection. The other stories were crap but the Jason Aaron story was a pretty fun ride. The X-Men have just relocated to San Francisco and Wolverine has violated a 50-year-old ban by entering Chinatown that results in an epic kung-fu beat-down, training, and then revenge/ redemption story.

I guess it’s obvious, if not somewhat safe, to put the story in Chinatown because even people not familiar with San Francisco can figure out what kind of neighborhood Chinatown is.

I still maintain that The Outer Sunset is a far more versatile neighborhood that you can tell several different kinds of stories in.

The Outer Sunset has loud Chinese and English advertising that makes a great background for any kind of kung-fu or Blade Runner type story.

The Outer Sunset is littered with these beautiful miniature castles, Hansel and Gretel type homes, and suburbs on acid that would make for great surreal or head-trip stories.

And then you have some straight up batshit crazy neighbors.

With locals that drive around in Burning Man art cars or demon busses.

The Outer Sunset is like living on the set of the weirdest movie David Lynch never got around to making.

I really love this house in The Outer Sunset.

The Outer Sunset - Manifest Destiny 1

It’s your classic San Francisco kung-fu house.

The Outer Sunset - Manifest Destiny 5

I could brainstorm an entire X-Men mini-series just off of this house.

 The Outer Sunset - Manifest Destiny 4

Here’s my pitch –

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This is Mr. Hung’s house.

1969 -

Back in the late 60’s Mr. Hung was this 20-year-old Jet Li looking kind of guy with this rad Jim Lee hair and bitching yakuza tattoos.

Mr. Hung is China’s #1 spy and the world’s #1 assassin. He’s the best there is at what he does.

Back before he was in The X-Men and was in Weapon X or Strikeforce X or whatever, Wolverine is loaned off to this ultimate black-opts project that no-one has words or even clearance levels for and finds himself working with Mr. Hung.

They don’t like each other.

They’re off with Nick Fury, the previous Dr. Strange, and Snake Eyes on a covert mission to seek and destroy a downed unidentified astral object.

2009 –

Mr. Hung is this Sammo Hung looking kind of guy who actually looks like he’s 40 years older.

40 very haggard years older.

He’s a few feet shorter, has almost no hair with a receding hairline, a potbelly, and is always wearing a goofy Hawaiian t-shirt. Now that the X-Men are in San Francisco, Logan always comes over to crash on Mr. Hung’s couch in The Outer Sunset whenever he needs to unwind and heal in private. They have a much better rapport these days. There’s a Jacuzzi and an endless supply of beer in the back yard with a bitching view of the sunset.

The Outer Sunset - Manifest Destiny 11

I love the backyard too.

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This is actually from a completely different Outer Sunset house but I’m gonna take some artistic liberty and fuse the 2 of these images together for the sake of my pitch.

Mr. Hung’s tattoos are all fucked-up now. There are scars, bullet holes, stab wounds, claw marks, cigarette burns, electrical burns, farmer tans, and a potbelly. It’s a mess.

Logan’s giving him a hard time and is all

“Jesus Christ, Hung. Who does your touch-up work these days? GG Allin?”

And Mr. Hung is all,

“Tell me about it. kid. When I was young and stupid I used to be into tattoos, Now that I know better I’m into scars. Each one tells a different story about how it fucked-up my life”

Camera zooms into Mr. Hung’s right arm and this lengthwise burn in the form of an iron chain.

1969 –

Escape pod from Hell has just crash landed in Vietnam.

4 Ghost Riders hit the ground running at 100 miles per hour in opposite directions.

Wolverine + crew destroy them all in less than 3 issues but in the process they also massacre half of an early Private Frank Castle’s platoon in seconds.

Hearts, minds, blood, guts, and demon curses are splattered everywhere. It’s a bloodbath.

And that’s my pitch for the -

Punisher Ghost Rider Wolverine – Manifest Destiny mini series.

Sign Jason Aaron onboard and that’s just money in the bank.





The Loneliness of the Long Distance Runner

11 12 2009

The Loneliness of the Long Distance Runner

Aluminum can recycling is big business in The Outer Sunset and no one takes it as seriously as the old Chinese ladies. Other people hop in their cars and drive their cans to the Safeway parking lot on Noriega for cash. The old Chinese ladies load up their carts, sometimes up to three times their body mass, and then push it on up the road. Hardcore.

This lady doesn’t have it too bad. She’s headed westbound on Moraga so it’s relatively downhill on a quiet road and the few uphill parts aren’t that steep. I love her hat to. Old people have rad, practical fashion accessories.

What’s nuts are the people that live down by the beach and push their carts uphill on Ortega. That hill kicks my ass just riding my bike up it, I can only imagine if I was 30 years older and pushing a cart three times my size up that hill on a regular basis.

There’s this one couple that I’ve watched do that for years now. They have to be in their 60s or 70s, yet a few times each month I’ll see them trek up Ortega street and the funny thing is that the wife always kicks her husband’s ass. She’s easily a block ahead of him by the time they get into the final stretch. They both definitely define what it means to have a serious work ethic.





Longboarding in The Outer Sunset.

9 12 2009

Video courtesy of aaaknot30

I really dig these Outer Sunset skating videos and find myself watching the houses flying by as much as the skaters. If I was a real estate agent I think I would commission these guys to tape the neighborhood of any homes I wanted to sell. It’s an interesting way to showcase real estate, not just as still pictures of a house but also video of the neighborhood that the house lives in.

But this block on 21st Ave always struck me as being odd.

90% of the block is very much cookie-cutter homes. It’s pretty much the exact same house xeroxed off right next to each other with a few variations. The difference from any other American suburb being that Outer Sunset homes have colors that you’d expect to find in a bowl of Lucky Charms cereal. Looks like Poppa Smurf lives in this one.

Papa Smurf house of The Outer Sunset

But these two homes always struck me as being really odd.

Enigmas of The Outer Sunset

Out of nowhere, there are two completely different kinds of houses right next to each other.

The one of the left looks like something you would find in the Berkley Hills. That’s an intense driveway and a patio on the 1st floor, then another patio with the entrance to the house on the 2nd floor. It’s very different from any other house on the block. I imagine the person who lives here has cats, listens to NPR, and is a big fan of chai tea.

Then check out his neighbor. A boring 3 story house that I would expect to see in Baltimore or some place that gets a lot of snow in the winter. It’s also the only 3 story building on a block of houses that are all 2 story, so you know the people that live here are kind of cocky about having the tallest house on the block. I keep expecting to bump into Gavin Newsom coming out of this house.

I can only imagine why these homes were built this way. Maybe Henry Doelger was out that week and the crew was all “Fuck it. We’re tired of building the same house over and over again. Let’s do a Berkeley house over here and spin the wheel to see what to put next to it…uh, a boring 3 story East Coast house? Sure, why not. No one will notice.”

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Dear Salsa Del Sol, Can you please sell your Jalapeno Hot Sauce in a bottle? You know, like, in a store and on a shelf with all the other hot sauces.

9 12 2009

Salsa Del Sol Jalapeno Hot Sauce 1

I don’t want to tell you how to do your job Salsa Del Sol, but if you have a Marketing Department, or a New Business Development Department, or even a Public Relations Department, you might want to crunch the numbers and think about selling your Jalapeno Hot Sauce not just in 0.3125-Ounce Single Serve Packages, but, say, in a 8 ounce or 16 ounce bottle.

People like going to grocery stores, bulk discount stores, and Asian import stores to buy their hot sauces. We usually buy them in bottles so it’s easy to use what you want and then save the rest for later.

We really love your Salsa Del Sol Jalapeno Hot Sauce. Unfortunately it doesn’t make much sense to spend $37 (with shipping) to have 500 individual single serving packages. It takes up space in the fridge and you don’t even want to try and save part of an unused package. That’s a mess.

You guys have a great product and unfortunately the only way we’re able to get it right now is to bribe the local pizza place for extra, extra, packets. That money could instead be going directly into your pockets.

Salsa Del Sol Jalapeno Hot Sauce 2

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