The Outer Sunset

These guys are my favorite plants. Succulents are survivors. They don’t bitch. They’re not high maintenance. You don’t even have to water then. You just stick succulents into the earth and not only do they grow, but they dominate. Sometimes over each other.

These plants are indigenous to The Outer Sunset. And in the spring they grow these enormous erections. They’re like the John Holmes of the plant kingdom. Large and in charge. What’s not to love?

Several years ago I was using what few days I had of my vacation time to find a new roommate and do some home improvement projects. Winnie and I saw a commercial for a Wednesday sale at Mervyns and decided on a spur of the moment to go buy some clothes. Other couples spend their vacations in Hawaii or Las Vegas. Winnie and I tool around the house and go party at Mervyns. We were being broke years before it was trendy…

Normally I can see my car from my living room, but it was a no parking day and I left the Saturn a block away. Winnie and I were walking down a street that we normally never would have, when we looked over and saw that one of our neighbors had his compost receptacle out and it was OVERFLOWING with these fresh cut succulents. It was amazing. We scrapped the Mervyns plan in a heartbeat. Instead, we grabbed as many succulents as we could carry and then trafficked the unwanted plants back to my place. And then went back for more. It took about 3 trips to get them all back. We planted what we could and then went to Home Depot to buy pots and soil for the rest.

Fast forward a few years later and Mervyns is now one of the more vicious casualties of this death spiral economy. Mervyns did not pay out unused vacation days to their laid off employees and even froze their 401K. Fucking scandalous. Mervyns is dead and gone but the succulents are still dominating their environment. I love these plants.