Gung Hay Fat Choy!

25 02 2010

kung ha fat choy

Southwest Airlines Chinese New Year Festival & Parade Year of the Tiger 1

I’m a big fan of the Southwest Airlines Chinese New Year Festival & Parade posters.

They’re always up and down Clement and Irving street every year and they are up there with the Cherry Blossom Festival as one of my all-time favorite posters from a San Francisco block party. Here is my very flawed and faded collection so far.

Southwest Airlines Chinese New Year Festival & Parade Year of the Ox

Year of The Ox.

Southwest Airlines Chinese New Year Festival & Parade Year of the Rooster

Year of the Rooster.

Southwest Airlines Chinese New Year Festival & Parade  Year of the Monkey

Year of The Monkey.

Southwest Airlines Chinese New Year Festival & Parade Year of the Ram

Year of The Ram.

Southwest Airlines Chinese New Year Festival & Parade Year of the Horse

Year of The Horse.

Southwest Airlines Chinese New Year Festival & Parade Year of the Serpent

Year of The Serpent.

I love the use of triangles in this one. It’s very tribal and hypnotic.
I designed my entire bathroom around the theme of this poster.

Southwest Airlines Chinese New Year Festival & Parade Year of the Dragon

Year of The Dragon.

Anyone else think that’s weird?

There’s only one mythical creature in the Chinese zodiac and it’s a Dragon? A fucking Dragon?

And guess when the next Year of The Dragon is?

That’s right. End of the World. 2012.

The funny thing about 2012 is that it directly ties into several other apocalyptic theories.

2012 ties into Peak Oil. Peak Oil is the theory that oil is a finite resource and that humans have already consumed half of the oil on the planet and that we are about to embark on a downward spiral of diminishing returns. I used to really be into Mike Ruppert so I’m all kinds of familiar with Peak Oil. Planet Earth consumes about a billion barrels of oil every 12 days and oil is more than what you put into your car. Oil is food, oil is the ability to do work, and oil is the crack cocaine that keeps our economy working. The funny thing is that a lot of the Peak Oil people point to 2012 as when we fall of the cliff.

peak oil

That’s when blackouts start to become permanent. That’s the moment when the Industrial Revolution dies.

Funny thing about Peak Oil is that I later found out that a lot of people think it’s a scam. Peak Oil is funded by the oil industry so that might make them somewhat biased and the person who wrote the most scathing article against Peak Oil died a year later of West Nile virus, so I don’t know if I really want to talk smack about Peak Oil online.

Funny thing is that I’ve also read that 2012 is a giant hoax. The real year of The Singularity is supposed to be 4000-something, 2012 is just a typo but it’s caught on like wildfire. Probably because it’s a year that will happen within our lifetimes and also because 2012 is just a sexier number.

And 2012 ties into the various finical apocalyptic theories. I think these are far more realistic and scary than any Jerry Bruckheimer film. Gerald Celente, the man who predicted the 1987 stock market crash and the fall of the Soviet Union , is now forecasting ghost malls, boss-nappings, food riots and tax rebellions by 2012. The quadrillion (that’s a thousand trillions) dollar derivatives bubble in America is a black hole that some have estimated to be ten times larger than the entire wealth of planet earth.

Ultimately though, if I was a Rothschild or Rockefeller type of guy and I had my H1N1 2.0 manmade virus in the pipeline I would just drop it on December 21 2012 and blame it on the Mayans. It’s the perfect boogieman.

UPDATE – A reader alerted me to the fact that not only did Walt Contreras Sheasby die of West Nile Virus, he has the distinction of being the FIRST person in all of California to have died from West Nile.


And That’s A Wrap –

2 01 2010

I want to thank all of you who have kept me company and/or humored me during my little 2009 sabbatical.

I especially want to thank sfist, Curbed SF, CBS Eye on Blogs , The Sunset District Events Calendar , deep trouble , The First Church of the Last Laugh and anyone else I might have forgotten that either linked to my stories or had nice things to say about this page.

I don’t think I want to shut this site down entirely, but my classes start next week so I am going to decommission this blog to hibernate status while I focus on my studies. I’m telling you, this is a horrible time to try and find a job and a great time to be a student again.

Good luck to you all in your future endeavors in 2010 and beyond.

And stay weird, San Francisco.


PS – I’m still a big geek for all things weird and unique to The Outer Sunset.

If you’ve discovered any kind of Outer Sunset art car, quirky house, cool mural, great scenic view, engaging architecture, public art space, or shrine please tell me about it in the comments section of this post and I shall do my best to document it. Thank you. I live for stuff like this.

The Friendship Bench of The Outer Sunset.

1 01 2010

The Friendship Bench of The Outer Sunset 2

The Friendship Bench of The Outer Sunset 9

The Friendship Bench of The Outer Sunset 7

The Friendship Bench of The Outer Sunset 3

The Friendship Bench is the very first thing I wrote about on here and one of the first truly unique and neat things I noticed when I moved into The Outer Sunset.

The Friendship Bench of The Outer Sunset 14

The idea that someone can convert their house into a little public art space is really charming and the fact that it’s survived unmolested all these years is amazing. I keep on discovering new things everytime I take pictures here.

The Friendship Bench of The Outer Sunset 12

Nice use of sand dollars. Sand dollars are local sea urchins that are indigenous to Ocean Beach. If you know how, you can collect them along the beach and then bleach them to a shiny white. You see them everywhere out here. Locals have them in their garages and gardens; you can see them in the mural over by the Ortega Street library. Collecting sand dollars is very much a Outer Sunset / beach culture kind of pastime.

The Friendship Bench of The Outer Sunset 6

I met the owner of this house the other day as he was pulling into his driveway. He was super nice and explained that The Friendship Bench was his wife’s idea. She set most of this up and since she passed away he has been maintaining it as a shrine to her.

And that’s what I love about The Outer Sunset; the idea that you can just convert your house into a mini shrine and no one will stop you.

The Hello Kitty Car Salutes This Day.

30 12 2009

Hello Kitty Mobile of The Outer Sunset

The Outer Sunset might as well be renamed New Chinatown. My neighborhood is primarily Asian, mostly Chinese, and some of my more creative neighbors have converted their cars into neat little pop culture shrines. If Tera Patrick ever moved into The Outer Sunset I’d imagine she’d have a Hello Kitty shrine like this in her car too.

I was fortunate enough this day to find the Hello Kitty car parked facing towards the beach as the sun set, so it’s a clear shot. I love also that they chose to have the dashboard idol facing towards the windshield instead of towards the driver. Makes for a great picture.

I wasn’t as lucky with this green themed car and it was foggy and overcast that day. Hey, welcome to The Outer Sunset.

New Chinatown 7

Notice how both these cars are very color coordinated. Even down to the green lid of the Lysol hand wipes next to the baby seat in the back. You know the color of a product is a deal breaker with this family when it comes to what they will buy and put in their car. They could be at Target and there could be some hand wipes with a pink lid that were half the price of the green lid hand wipes and if anyone dared to put the pink lid hand wipes in the cart the parents would be all “What the fuck is wrong with you? We’re down with green, you know that. You want to buy any of that pink shit than you might as well go ride with that Hello Kitty family and ask them to adopt you as well because you ain’t no child of mine. Now put that pink crap back where you found it before I have to decapitate you like all those stuffed animals that weren’t down with green”

New Chinatown 9

Priscilla – Queen of The Outer Sunset.

28 12 2009

Priscilla Queen of The Outer Sunset 1

If the gay mafia ever bough a house in The Outer Sunset I’d bet they’d move into this mini-fortress. And not just because of the pepto-bismol pink color of the house or the quaint white picket fence, but also because of the shear size of the house.

Corner houses are traditionally larger homes, but this is one of the most extreme examples of that rule that I’ve seen out here. It’s like a fortress of pinkness. Check out how she’s almost twice the size of her serf neighbors downhill.

Priscilla Queen of The Outer Sunset 2

Big Pink Gay House FTW.

But Uncle Owen, I was going into Tosche Station to pick up some power converters!

22 12 2009

But Uncle Owen, I was going into Tosche Station to pick up some power converters 1

If they ever built any suburbs on Tatooine I’d imagine they would look a lot like this.

The Outer Sunset – Manifest Destiny

12 12 2009

I just finished reading Jason Aaron’s Wolverine – Manifest Destiny mini series as part of the X-Men – Manifest Destiny collection. The other stories were crap but the Jason Aaron story was a pretty fun ride. The X-Men have just relocated to San Francisco and Wolverine has violated a 50-year-old ban by entering Chinatown that results in an epic kung-fu beat-down, training, and then revenge/ redemption story.

I guess it’s obvious, if not somewhat safe, to put the story in Chinatown because even people not familiar with San Francisco can figure out what kind of neighborhood Chinatown is.

I still maintain that The Outer Sunset is a far more versatile neighborhood that you can tell several different kinds of stories in.

The Outer Sunset has loud Chinese and English advertising that makes a great background for any kind of kung-fu or Blade Runner type story.

The Outer Sunset is littered with these beautiful miniature castles, Hansel and Gretel type homes, and suburbs on acid that would make for great surreal or head-trip stories.

And then you have some straight up batshit crazy neighbors.

With locals that drive around in Burning Man art cars or demon busses.

The Outer Sunset is like living on the set of the weirdest movie David Lynch never got around to making.

I really love this house in The Outer Sunset.

The Outer Sunset - Manifest Destiny 1

It’s your classic San Francisco kung-fu house.

The Outer Sunset - Manifest Destiny 5

I could brainstorm an entire X-Men mini-series just off of this house.

 The Outer Sunset - Manifest Destiny 4

Here’s my pitch –

The Outer Sunset - Manifest Destiny 7

This is Mr. Hung’s house.

1969 –

Back in the late 60’s Mr. Hung was this 20-year-old Jet Li looking kind of guy with this rad Jim Lee hair and bitching yakuza tattoos.

Mr. Hung is China’s #1 spy and the world’s #1 assassin. He’s the best there is at what he does.

Back before he was in The X-Men and was in Weapon X or Strikeforce X or whatever, Wolverine is loaned off to this ultimate black-opts project that no-one has words or even clearance levels for and finds himself working with Mr. Hung.

They don’t like each other.

They’re off with Nick Fury, the previous Dr. Strange, and Snake Eyes on a covert mission to seek and destroy a downed unidentified astral object.

2009 –

Mr. Hung is this Sammo Hung looking kind of guy who actually looks like he’s 40 years older.

40 very haggard years older.

He’s a few feet shorter, has almost no hair with a receding hairline, a potbelly, and is always wearing a goofy Hawaiian t-shirt. Now that the X-Men are in San Francisco, Logan always comes over to crash on Mr. Hung’s couch in The Outer Sunset whenever he needs to unwind and heal in private. They have a much better rapport these days. There’s a Jacuzzi and an endless supply of beer in the back yard with a bitching view of the sunset.

The Outer Sunset - Manifest Destiny 11

I love the backyard too.

The Outer Sunset - Manifest Destiny 3

This is actually from a completely different Outer Sunset house but I’m gonna take some artistic liberty and fuse the 2 of these images together for the sake of my pitch.

Mr. Hung’s tattoos are all fucked-up now. There are scars, bullet holes, stab wounds, claw marks, cigarette burns, electrical burns, farmer tans, and a potbelly. It’s a mess.

Logan’s giving him a hard time and is all

“Jesus Christ, Hung. Who does your touch-up work these days? GG Allin?”

And Mr. Hung is all,

“Tell me about it. kid. When I was young and stupid I used to be into tattoos, Now that I know better I’m into scars. Each one tells a different story about how it fucked-up my life”

Camera zooms into Mr. Hung’s right arm and this lengthwise burn in the form of an iron chain.

1969 –

Escape pod from Hell has just crash landed in Vietnam.

4 Ghost Riders hit the ground running at 100 miles per hour in opposite directions.

Wolverine + crew destroy them all in less than 3 issues but in the process they also massacre half of an early Private Frank Castle’s platoon in seconds.

Hearts, minds, blood, guts, and demon curses are splattered everywhere. It’s a bloodbath.

And that’s my pitch for the –

Punisher Ghost Rider Wolverine – Manifest Destiny mini series.

Sign Jason Aaron onboard and that’s just money in the bank.