“That Don’t Match!”

8 06 2010

Somewhere along the line my girlfriend granted herself veto power over what I get to wear whenever we go out at night. If she feels like whatever I’m wearing is clashing she only has to say “That don’t match!” and either I have to change my outfit or if I try and argue the point my life becomes an episode of Curb Your Enthusiasm.

“That don’t match!” has become one of our inside jokes, a catch phrase that perfectly sums up when we see anything that instinctively was not meant to be together. That phrase also happens to perfectly sum up this house that has the worst 3rd floor addition in The Outer Sunset and quite possibly all of San Francisco.

The Spirit of Carville still lives on. Ocean Beach, Outer Sunset SF 5

The Spirit of Carville still lives on. Ocean Beach, Outer Sunset SF 3

Oh. My. Lord.

It’s like a tsunami took one house and washed it onto the roof of another house.

It’s like Homer Simposn got wasted one week and built a tree fort for the kids on the roof of his house. And nobody stopped him.

This beauty is on or west of the 47th Ave parallel, where the houses get Twilight Zone weird out here and a part of me loves it for that. It’s a reminder that the spirit of Carville still lives on out here by the beach. You can hire Homer Simpson to build the most ridiculous addition to your home out here and No One Will Stop You.

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Crazy Guy’s House

Tsunami Warnings of The Outer Sunset





Critical Mass Bonfire. Ocean Beach, Outer Sunset. May 28, 2010. FREE.

29 05 2010

Critical Mass Bonfire. Ocean Beach, Outer Sunset. May 28, 2010. FREE 1

Critical Mass Bonfire. Ocean Beach, Outer Sunset. May 28, 2010. FREE 2

Or at least it was advertised as a Critical Mass Bonfire.

There was already well over a hundred people manning all of the Burning Man Bonfire Pits a good hour before sundown and before any of the riders showed up. After sundown most of the Critical Mass kids decided to stay up on the street with their open containers and get arrested. Welcome to the Sunset, hipster. Regardless, it was a glorious San Diego day at the beach; low-70s, no clouds, minimal winds, and lots of sun. What a perfect excuse for San Francisco to go hang out at the beach.

RELATED POSTS –

Tripping Out on the Architecture of The Outer Sunset along the Great Highway





Sunday Streets in The Outer Sunset. August 9th, 2009. FREE.

10 08 2009

Sunday Streets in The Outer Sunset. August 9th, 2009. FREE.  1

What’s funny is that the sun woke me up this morning and that 31st Ave was still sunny and clear when I left for the day. But just a few blocks down the street and you could see that there was a pocket of fog just sitting down there by the beach. Just like the Twilight Zone. It’s like it’s own completely different ecosystem down there. You can go from San Diego to Bermuda Triangle tropical rainforest conditions in just a few blocks.

And then it all burned off 20 minutes before the block party was over. Yo! Sunday Streets. Can we change our hours from the 10AM – 2PM shift to…let’s say noon – sunset? Can we make that happen? Because, seriously. Most of this town can’t even get out of the house before 4PM. Trust me on this one.

Sunday Streets in The Outer Sunset. August 9th, 2009. FREE. 2

Who’s a good dog!
Who’s a good dog with the most bad-ass tricked out bike!
That’s right, you are!
Good dog! You’re a good dog!

Sunday Streets in The Outer Sunset. August 9th, 2009. FREE.  11

You were always on my mind.
You were always on my mind.

Sunday Streets in The Outer Sunset. August 9th, 2009. FREE.  7

I saw this set up a few months ago at that free bike party in Golden Gate Park that I never got around to writing about. They tried to go renegade that day but had to retreat back into the neighboring Burning Man Golden Gate Park parties jurisdiction to avoid prosecution. That was an interesting day.

All the electricity for this party isn’t provided by a generator. It comes from all the people peddling on those bikes. Really ingenious idea.

And this is what a human bike-powered renegade party on Ocean Beach looks like.

Sunday Streets in The Outer Sunset. August 9th, 2009. FREE. 13

Sunday Streets in The Outer Sunset. August 9th, 2009. FREE.  23

The next Sunday Streets will be back in The Outer Sunset the day after The Man burns.

Seriously? Who scheduled that?

Are the promoters for the Outside Lands Festival on your board of directors?

Seriously. We need to talk people.

***

RELATED POSTS –

The Outer Sunset Has FREE Curbside Parking Right By The Beach.





I’m Starting With The Man In The Mirror I’m Asking Him To Change His Ways And No Message Could Have Been Any Clearer

1 05 2009

I'm Starting With The Man In The Mirror I'm Asking Him To Change His Ways If You Wanna Make The World A Better Place Take A Look At Yourself And Then Make A Change

I love self-portraits on Ocean Beach because it’s not like a happy-go-lucky beach picture. That could be Burning Man. That could be some post-apocalyptic nuclear wasteland. That could be on the set of the new Mad Max movie.

The day after I took this picture they shut down The Great Highway because of all the sand that had blown up and threatened the integrity of the Highway.

Semper Fi.





That Which Does Not Kill Me Postpones The Inevitable.

1 05 2009

That Which Does Not Kill Me Postpones The Inevitable. 1

That Which Does Not Kill Me Postpones The Inevitable. 2

That Which Does Not Kill Me Postpones The Inevitable 3

This tree at Ocean Beach is really unique. I’ve heard friends say that they’ve seen The Faces of Hell in it. The poor guy has definitely lived a haggard life. Ocean Beach will eat cars and fire hydrants alive and it will brutally torture some selective coast side plants. I’m not quite sure how to interpret that.

Some days I think this tree represents endurance and strength of will. Semper Fi shit.

Other days I see it as a consensual long-term BDSM relationship between elemental forces.

Sometimes you feel like a nut and sometimes you don’t.





Life is the Great Highway.

30 04 2009

This is another great quirky house that’s on the very last block of The Outer Sunset, right next to The Great Highway and Ocean Beach.

Life is the Great Highway 1

Life is the Great Highway 2

Life is the Great Highway 3

Life is the Great Highway 9

Life is the Great Highway 4

Life is the Great Highway 6





Burning Life Aquatic Man.

28 04 2009

DPW blue submarine and home base 1

I’ve seen this DPW Blue Submarine around the neighborhood before. It’s indigenous to The Outer Sunset but this is the first time I’ve seen it docked out in front of what looks like its homebase.

DPW blue submarine and home base 6

Check out the rust on that submarine. The fog out here will eat cars and fire hydrants alive.

DPW blue submarine and home base 5

DPW blue submarine and home base 4

DPW blue submarine and home base 3

DPW blue submarine and home base 2





The Outer Sunset Has FREE Curbside Parking Right By The Beach.

25 03 2009

free parking at the beach

How beautiful is that?

I grew up in Hawaii and San Diego so I grew up around this happy-go-lucky, tropical, party beach culture and was kind turned-off and a little frightened by Ocean Beach when I first moved here. Most of the time it’s really foggy and overcast. Like if London and Russia combined forces to bioengineer the most depressing beach possible. Anyone touching the water had bodysuits, homeless people constantly swimming MUNI upstream to die alone, and Elliot Smith haunted that walkway.

Guys walking by themselves.
Wearing sunglasses and staring at the ground.
Thinking about all the mistakes in their life.
As they walked past tagged-up dead beached whales.
Before being jacked-up from behind.

It was kind of a downer beach.

But I discovered quickly that even on foggy summer days the beach was beautiful at night. I could open any window of my house and hear it all night. I could hear any car that drove by me from at least a few blocks away, but I could hear the ocean all night.

And on sunny weekdays this place is a beautifully eerie and deserted rust bucket. I love it.

This is The Great Highway.

ocean beach 1

ocean beach 2

ocean beach 4

ocean beach 6

I was here when the Burning Man People had a free art opening for the first of their new bonfire pits last year.

ocean beach 7

It was WINDY AS FUCK. I remember almost Burning Man dust storm conditions with this Crazy Turrets Homeless Dude drawn to the fire that would not shut up. Unsuspecting couples would be walking up to the fires from out of the dust storms and thinking that Crazy Turrets Homeless Dude was part of the local Burning Man charm without realizing that local rangers had told Crazy Turrets Homeless Dude to shut up while other people were giving speeches at least 3 times now and it wasn’t working. There was instant blind cooperation among strangers and the local Sunset beach cops busting DPW guys for drinking on the beach. Proof that The Universe really does have a sense of humor. I thought it was a nice effort on the Burning Man People’s part, but honestly I wondered how long the fire pits would survive before being tagged-up or destroyed. But check it out now that it’s completed in 2009 –

ocean beach 8

Nowhere near the level of trash that used to collect around the old city bonfire pits and no tagging! That’s amazing.

I like this partially bloomed flower / acorn design the best.

ocean beach 11

That 45-degree angle is a great design and is a hell of a lot more practical in blocking the wind, which is essential to starting and maintaining your fire under windy as fuck conditions. I was cruising by at 4:20 and there was already a fire going in the acorn fire pit with girls playing music and dancing nearby.

ocean beach 9

ocean beach 10

Good times.

Also, by Burning Man People I mean a combination of The Black Rock Arts Foundation and Burners Without Borders. I just like referring to them as Burning Man People, which has a nice ring to it. Like Children of The Corn.